Mediocre vs. Exquisite

Though I have repressed it somewhat in recent months, if I'm being honest with myself I am a hopeless romantic.I have been in love once. It was real, honest-to-goodness-lets-spend-every-minute-together-or-on-the-phone-talking-about-anything-and-everything-kind of love... and it was easy and wonderful.

Now, let's not misunderstand. I do not, by any means, believe that love is just some walk in the park. It's not roses, daisies and puppies. It's not flowers and chocolates daily... weekly... or sometimes even monthly or yearly, but in my experience, it comes somewhat... "easily."

We had met each other before, and our mutual friends set us up and we were completely lost to each other. He still holds the record for the longest phone call, and longest online chat and best date.ever. I don't know how it was that we could always talk to each other so long. We finally had to make a rule that when when of our phones began to die we had to say goodbye. It was great while it lasted. All the late night phone calls, all the driving on weekends (and in the middle of the night... just that one time) were completely worth it. When it ended it was devastating. While it lasted, it was amazing.

That relationship is completely over and time has been an excellent healer. However, in recent months, aspects of that time we had together have been very much in the forefront of my mind. It's not that I'm having some sort of crazy relapse, but rather that it's something to hold on to. Someone did love me once, and he showed me in word and deed. It's frustrating for me to realize I have been settling for much less in relationships ever since. I can't seem to find people to date, let alone love, that will give me even an ounce of themselves or their time. I keep meeting (or being set up with) guys who have way better things to do, are rude, way too into themselves, are rude and even slightly creepy... or rude. Quite frankly I'm at a loss for what to do anymore. The situation looks pretty hopeless.

In a recent talk with my father, I was counseled not to settle. The fact is, I don't want to. A quote that I love says:

"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them."

 Dream for an Insomniac (1996)

Is it so presumptuous to expect something beyond mediocre? I have seen handfuls of relationships that  I feel are mediocre, based mainly on the way that they treat each other, and in some circumstances, how they speak to each other. Obviously, to each his own, but that doesn't mean that I have to settle for a situation where I am not treated well (beside the fact that my brothers would never allow it) because eternity is A LONG TIME!

I always refer back to my friend Alicia that I knew in high school because I have never seen two people more in love. And my friend Wendy from hair school, although I've never met her husband, I would love to have a love like hers simply based on how she speaks of him. I could go on, but I think the idea is clear. If the kind of love I seek exists, then where is it and why do so many people choose something less?

Maybe I'm way off base... but

I have seen love,
I have felt love
and I won't settle for mediocrity.