Toilet paper and marshmallows

I remember a random conversation that took place between roommates not too long ago. The topic of discussion was “the inconvenience it is to go to the bathroom”. (I kid you not, and no, I do not know how it came up) I thought it sounded like a pretty ridiculous topic as I listened to the arguments:

“I hate that you have to stop whatever you’re doing to go to the bathroom”
“I hate it when you are in the middle of a conversation or something and you have to leave in the middle”

I guess the arguments started to sound pretty compelling because without thinking, I chimed in, “I hate it when you have to get up in the middle of a perfectly good nights rest to go to the bathroom!” To which I received enthusiastic support. I’ll tell you what though… I hate it even more now.

About a week ago I was extremely tired and went to bed around… I don’t know 11:00 (My roommate calls me an old lady for going to bed “early for no reason”) I woke up around 12:00ish for no other reason than that my slumber had been interrupted by nature's call. I was pretty annoyed so I got up and made my way to the bathroom. Luckily for me, my roommates are notorious for forgetting to replace the roll so I looked first by habit. There wasn’t one there so I went like old Mother Hubbard to the cupboard to find it was bare. Not a single roll in the house. In MY mind that meant I would have to go to the store.

I made my way back into my room to change into something non-pajama like and I probably should have run a brush through my hair, but I was only about half awake. I took off in my car and decided a call to Iowa to tell Meg was in order. (I was sure she was in bed, but I thought she would get some good humor in the morning to start off the day right) When I arrived at the store I had my eye single to obtaining and purchasing toilet paper when… I got distracted. A car full of  supposedly good looking college-aged boys was also doing some shopping. I re-focused and headed right for the isle where I made my selection and turned around to see even more peers of the opposite sex… and more and more. Apparently, young men in Provo like to do their shopping at midnight. (To anyone else this would not have been a big deal, but I am easily embarrassed… something I am still working on) The next thing that comes to my mind is:

“Ok. Girl, looks half-asleep, shuffling her feet through store, purchases consist of… oh… just toilet paper.” To me that said I should just have a sign announcing “Ha, that girl woke up in the middle of the night and didn’t have any toilet paper!” So, with my logic asleep in the back corner of my mind I told myself a good solution would be to pick up more groceries… but the only thing I had left that I needed were marshmallows. Yes, I was carrying toilet paper and marshmallows… I am positive that was helpful.

I was ready for the checkout, but right before I got to the front of the store they reduced the available check out lanes to 1. I got in line, now finding my situation humorous… and then the story got better. The man in front of me had coupons… and lots of them! For some reason the checker had to write them down. FIFTEEN minutes later (keeping in mind I still had to use the restroom) I spent $3.11 and got in my car to drive home.

I called Meg again to give her an update.

When I got home my roommate and her boyfriend were silent and then said
“Where did you go?”
“Store.” Was the only reply I could muster.

I put a new roll in the bathroom and was soon back in bed.

What good came of this?
• We have toilet paper (for the time being)
• The next person to wake up in the night would not have to think of some alternative option.
• I got to laugh at myself
• Most of the people who heard (or now read) the story got to laugh at me

Meg texted me awake in the morning. It read “Well, at least now we know when to do our shopping” but I don’t foresee doing that again any time soon. Besides, they only appeared good-looking in my semi-conscious state.